THE HARDSHIPS OF A MOTHER.

..which sucks BIG TIME.

We got along the stages of pregnancy and the months that followed after the suicidal atmosphere in the delivery room. Us, mothers are one of a kind. We're in the same boat of trials yet its as if we share different kinds of suffering, or maybe, because we have different attitudes and perspectives in life--the way we digest everything is in how we adjust ourselves in a particular situation. Ok, so here's my sluggish self chanting whines like its the world's most perfect melody :

With the joy we had on our baby's birth we also shoulder the labor and suffering that we never had before.

I for one thing, I cannot recall the last time I had my most relaxing sleep ever. Nor did I experience nightmares or dreams then, I take SHORT naps (Not that nap doesn't define 'short' sleep; redundant yet--that literally explains it, there's no other word to describe it) and Ive been doing this eversince I can remember! My eyes are sore, my eyebags and dark under eye circles are raccoon-eyes looking from a distant view. I honestly don't think I had obvious eyebags way back. I never had, did I? Hair can be our glory as women, but unwanted hairs in areas where somebody might be looking is kind of----unattractive and alarming. I've forgotten to groom my brows ('coz it feels like something else is worth doing), or pluck my armpits, hehe, (only do when they're too crowded and unlady-like! hahah! watta shame.); . Moreover, there's that pressure of laundries and the to-be-pressed clothes in the corners of our room. OOOOH. Great. I was not born tamad, but IM NEVER USED TO DEALING WITH HOUSEHOLD CHORES. NEVER. (And I'll never learn, as much as I'll never learn to eat gulay!) I'm the career woman, right?

Let's say, a zero balance in my wallet and ATM cards is a default-- now, a lady that I am needs her routine visit in the salon. Manicure. Pedicure. Hot Oil and the like.....forget it. My poor feet, they're dry, tired and calloused. This got to be the hardest sole I've had in my entire life. Bad feet and bad backbones, a result of our baby's unending satisfaction of sucking in his sleep (..& u cant confuse him with pacifiers from his mom's nipples, he thrusts the fake ones out and searches for the real deal.) Vit. E is very effective in keeping your skin moisturized and shiny--- what do you expect? Mine, is a dry, itchy,pale and dull skin. No, I don't  take the time staring at my skin anymore, unlike before,  it only breaks my heart into pieces. I watch as people come and go, riding unto private cars and public vehicles, off to the city, off to dine in fancy restaurants, enjoy cinemas and just---window shop. While I, culture shocked at the sight of the semi-city in the nearest mall in our place when we passed there sometime last week. Its odd. I was once the city girl who has everything. Who grabs anything she likes, eats everything she wants.

I may sound like I am in my deepest regret, but NO. Totally. Just one smile from our little boy--- even in my weakest time of the day (early in the morning); it creates a surge of blood that gives strength to my muscles which keeps me up the whole day.  He's God's gift to us. And my husband, who shares the same fate as I am, although in different light, (haven't heard him complain-not a single thing.) keeps me sane and humble from everything that's pressing me down. I'm just too lucky to be with them, I couldn't have made it out in good shape without them..

...i know, these will all be over in no time. 

Keepin' my hopes high because of Him.

Thanking Him, still.<3

-sleeeeeeepi deee.