Love, it is.

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

My eyes flapped open all of a sudden. I heard Brad's voice calling me once and I woke up immediately. Baby Luis is sleeping, his head on my left arm. That few seconds of  wondering what's going about the moment you've awaken is still lingering. I looked up to him, waving his phone in front of me, it says 11:59pm. A few hours ago, we celebrated my birthday with a simple dinner. I had my usual routine of ESL classes after. Then I dozed off. 

February 15.

Today is my birthday.

I'm definitely positive he has forgotten. Or maybe I was wrong. Morning of my birthday, it was just like the rest of the beautiful mornings we had. Scowling at the thought that some of my dear friends greeted me on the eve of my day--yet, he did not. I supposed he forgot, so I shrugged it off. 

"Before this day ends, let me be the last one to greet you a Happy Birthday." Those were his lines. Out from nowhere, he handed me a box. In my dreamy state I smiled. Is this a payback for the Adidas shoes I gave him as a V-day gift last week? It's what his heart ached for--- for several months now. He was totally surprised that time, I can tell it by the look of his face. His charismatic sly smile flashing from side to side. haha!

Its a pretty box of blue and green. Did he buy it on purpose? He knew the colors were my fave. Inside were paper ornaments in soft shades of blue. I had to dig in for my little surprise. I saw the tiny silver bag. I tried feeling what's inside it, I felt none. Too thin to feel under my searching fingers.

There! There was a split second of trance. It's a ring! I'm 100% sure. It's a ring!

I held it in my bare hands, the diamonds smiling back at me..and the cold touch of the silver round contrasting my warm shaking fingers broke me off from the surreal emotion.Everything flashed too fast before my eyes. I read some script he personally wrote. Who would even try to guess that a man of his personality could do it? Well, this is not his first time though, he's surprised me so many times in my life before, little surprises... but not as unexpected as this one.

Without hesitation I said Yes. Yes to living with him forever. Yes to waking up everyday seeing his handsome face. Yes to attending to both Luis and his needs. Yes to marrying him.

Yes to forever.

Seism

Mental Image.

I can sense it, that ugly feeling of being scared. That the end is nearing, coming right in front of me.

I watched the high ripples of impetuous tides rushing from the coastal areas towards us. Destroying houses and plants and everything that goes its way. Tears swell from my terror-filled eyes---clutching our baby Iñigo  with shaking hands. 

I shook the unbelievable imagination off from me, I'm still in the terraces of our house together with my husband's family, the kids crying hysterically--i bit my lower lip, preventing it to tremble with fear. Realizing I'm one of the adults and I shouldn't portray fear--any slight show of weakness will crumble the kids faith in us and they'll be more than dreadful. 

Hero.

Our little angel, who's sleeping in my arms, innocent and sweet have no idea of what's going on.. How his father grabbed him off from latching and carried his family out of the 2-storey house when the earthquake shook the Earth beneath us. He would have admired how heroic his father was trying to secure ours and everyone's safety when the news of the Tsunami Alert broke out! It was all too fast, some people made fun of the scare, that the water level has risen and is coming to drown Cebu City! It was not frightening enough for them as much as it did to us.Without thinking twice, my husband packed our things, almost as if it would really happen--Although nothing's bad about preparation, and its not praying it will happen as well. Most of the things we kept were of our baby's. I was thinking, that I don't really need too much clothing, as long as I can grab baby's knapsack to carry him anywhere--anytime! That even the strongest rush of flood wont flush him away from my grasp. 

Rebuke.

In Jesus Name! Alleluia! These came out in chorus, repeatedly in everybody's tongue. God will hear us, for He has ears of mercy. And he did. The house didn't collapse, the tsunami alert was lifted off at 2:30pm. Everybody calmed down. 

Cebu is safe.